I have not been successful.
No matter how hard I tried, no matter how many noses and hairstyles I sampled, nothing I created bore the slightest resemblance to Me. Perhaps all those other avatars don't live up to their owners' expectations either. Perhaps they deliberately designed an "alter-ego" - a completely different and separate internet persona. Perhaps they just picked the best of a bad lot.
No, I have not been successful. Until now.
Yes, I have at last found perfection. The cartoon creation that captures my essence, my soul. The pixel portrait that would enable any of my readers to instantly recognise me should they ever pass me in the street.
And where did I discover the real me, you ask?
I should have known.