So Far, So Good

Blogging the journey...

Wednesday, 29 September 2010

Garland

by Rob Hockley - www.robhockley.co.uk







I saw old Autumn in the misty morn
Stand shadowless like Silence, listening
To silence...
-- from Autumn by Thomas Hood (1798-1845)

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Sunday, 12 September 2010

International Crochet Day 2010

Today is International Crochet Day!*

What better way to celebrate the joy of hooking than to hook for those in need?

Pakistanis devastated by recent floods will soon be struggling through a cold winter. As Wendy in NC said:

As the seasons change millions will be living in tent cities. Help them prepare for the cold winter nights in the mountain regions of Khyber Pakhtunkhwa in the North Western part of Pakistan.

Wendy's husband will be travelling to Pakistan in early October and she's started a group on Ravelry to collect crocheted (and kn*t ) hats for him to take.

You don't have to be a member of Ravelry to join in. If you like making hats and you're moved to help please send them - to arrive by October 1, 2010 - to:

Wendy Jan
110 Angle Street
Cherryville, NC 28021
USA

If you're in Europe, like me, or you can't make the October 1 deadline, you can send them directly to Pakistan:

Sajjad Ahmad Jan
S/O Sayar Mohammad
Barzai Dawalt Khel
Tangi Charsada District
Khyber Pakhtun Khwa
Pakistan

I sent 3 off yesterday.


Dontcha just love crochet?

*In case you're wondering why Jimbo in particular gets a link, he's the man who started it all in 2007. :-)

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Saturday, 19 June 2010

Garland

The whole world lives within a safeguarding... nothing is ever alone for a single moment.
-- Rumi

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Wednesday, 16 June 2010

The Original "Snowflake Doily"

If you're new here - hello! - the following relates to my Cut-Glass Snowflake Doily post.

The pattern has been identified! Susan P, a member of Celt's Vintage Crochet Yahoo group, was the first to spot it. She was flipping through her collection, look for something else, when it jumped off the page at her.

The original pattern, called simply "Snowflake Doily", was published in - drum roll, please............
"The Super Lacecrafts Collection - Crochet, Tatting and Knitted Lace", an Anchor/Coats publication (#17552 in the US, I believe; #1324 in the UK).


As soon as I heard from Susan I shot over to eBay and, would you believe it, there was one copy for sale here in the UK. I debated over whether I should buy it for, oh, a good 2 seconds. For one thing, I really wanted to compare my version to the original.

The disappointing news for me is that the pattern was published in 1984 (UK edition) so this lovely little doily isn't "vintage" after all. Congratulations to whoever designed it (the booklet doesn't say) for achieving "the look".


So, how does my pattern stack up? Well, apart from almost every one of my chains being shorter, the rest seems to match. I put my short chains down to two things - 1) the doily I worked from was rather tightly crocheted. As you can see from the picture above, the original was intended to be more open in appearance; and 2) I chain quite loosely, so where the chains were completely hidden by stitches and I had to guess at their number, I guessed low.

For those of you interested in trying a "looser" version, here are the chain length amendments:

To begin: Ch 6 Ch 9
Rnd 1) no change
Rnd 2) ch 8 ch 13
Rnd 3-8) ch 5 ch 7
Rnd 9) in order of appearance: ch 5 ch 7, ch 9 ch 13, ch 2 ch 3, ch 4 ch 5
Rnd 10) ch 12 ch 13
Rnd 11) in order of appearance: ch 10 ch 15, ch 8 ch 9, and the picot should be ch 4 ch 3 - the only time I had more chains!
Rnd 12) in order of appearance: ch 4 ch 5, ch 12 ch 13, and this time the picot should be ch 4 ch 5.

Bear these changes in mind when you are told to work into the ch-whatever space of the previous row.

And look! There's a smaller companion doily:


For this, work the first four rounds as for the large doily, then ch 7, *in ch5 lp (8 dc, ch4-picot, 7 dc) ch 3, (tr, ch 5, tr) in tr, ch 3, rpt from * around, ending omit last tr, slst in 4th ch of beg ch7. FO

Note that I've stuck to my "short chain" style here, in keeping with my pattern. The booklet has ch 7 instead of ch 5, and ch5 picots.

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Sunday, 13 June 2010

Linked Treble Spiral Square

By popular demand - well, a few people on Ravelry expressed an interest - here is the pattern for my...

Linked Treble Spiral Square
(US terms)
Your choice of yarn – very effective with a self-striping yarn

A hook one size larger than you would normally use for your chosen yarn






Notes:

Beginning chain (beg-ch) – rather than the usual ch 4 for a treble, you will be working a ch 3 for your beginning chain. I count the beginning chain as a stitch.

Work under only 1 thread of your base chain and beginning chains as you will be working back along the other side.

Linked treble crochet (ltr) – rather than re-invent the wheel, Crochet-Mania, aka The Art of Crochet, has the best tutorial for the linked treble stitch that I’ve found.
Linked Crochet Stitch – Tunisian (video)
Linked Crochet Stitch Written Instructions - Tunisian
As the titles suggest, each stitch is essentially a very short Tunisian row.

25 Jun 19 - Sadly, the above links no longer work, but I've found this video:
Linked Treble Crochet (LTR):: Crochet Technique :: Right Handed.
Just don’t do what he says about working into the back loop of the beginning chains. That’s okay if you want a nice, tidy looking edge, but you’re going to be working into that edge, so you’ll want to use one side and then, later, the other side of the chain itself.

Work loosely or you’ll end up with a rather stiff fabric. Go up another hook size if necessary.

1) ch 7, ltr in 5th ch from hook, and next 2 ch (= 4 st)

To clarify, you'll be picking up the 2nd and 3rd loops of the beginning chain, skipping the 4th loop, and working into the 5th loop. Think of the 4th loop as a turning chain so that you get a nice, sharp corner. That chain will be working into when you come back around on the 3rd row.

2) Turn the piece 90° clockwise, ch 3, ltr under 1st bar of last ltr made, ltr under next bar of ltr, ltr in end ch of base-ch (= 4 st)

3) Turn the piece 90° clockwise, ch 3, ltr under 1st bar of last ltr made, ltr under next bar of ltr, ltr in each ch of base-ch (= 7 st)

4) Turn the piece 90° clockwise, ch 3, ltr under 1st bar of last ltr made, ltr under next bar of ltr, ltr in 1st ch of base-ch, ltr in each ch of beg-ch (= 7 st)

5) Turn the piece 90° clockwise, ch 3, ltr under 1st bar of last ltr made, ltr under next bar of ltr, ltr in top ch of beg-ch, ltr in each st (note: 3 in this row, increasing in subsequent rows), ltr in each ch of beg-ch (= 10 st)

At this point you will have completed two “rounds” – your initial 4 stitches count as “round 1” and the four sides as “round 2”.

Repeat row 5 four times for each additional “round” until your square is the size required. Stitch counts for the next 4 rows are 10, 13, 13 and 16.

Copyright © 2010, Judy M Kerr. All Rights Reserved.


If a final round of linked trebles would make your square too large, work linked double crochets instead (same principle as the trebles, just chain 2 to begin and work under the one bar) or just finish off with a round or two of single crochet.

If you have any problems with this pattern please let me know - sofar_sogood at btinternet dot com.

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Friday, 21 May 2010

Cut-Glass Snowflake Doily

13 June 10 - Stop the presses! The doily has been identified!
I'm just waiting for a copy of the book to arrive (yes, I found one!) and then I'll post the details. Watch this space. :-) Details here!

Amendment: 27 May 10 - And the prize goes to Ravelry's doilyswan for spotting the first mistake! Round 9 has been amended. Anyone else?

I like to rescue interesting doilies from charity shops, take them home and save them for posterity by "reverse engineering" the pattern. Ok, I've only done two so far, plus I've got one waiting in the wings, but if there were more hours in the day I'd do more.

I found this unusual doily, or it could be a large motif, in a shop in Manningtree, Essex.




The style suggests it's a vintage pattern, though I could be wrong. I've asked all over the place and no one's recognised it yet.

Here's my first draft -


And here's the copy I made using my notes from the first one -


And here... is the pattern!

Cut-Glass Snowflake Doily
American notation

#10 or Bedspread cotton
1.5mm hook
Finished size = 10”

Notes:
2trtog (2 treble together [decrease]) = *yo twice, insert hk in st, yo, pull thru st, (yo, pull thru 2) twice, rpt from *, yo, pull thru 3
Ch4-picot = ch 4, slst in top of last st made

Ch 6, join

Rnd 1) 24 dc in ring

Rnd 2) *3 sc, ch 8, sk 1 dc, rpt from * around

Rnd 3) slst to 2nd sc, ch 4, *in ch8 sp (7 dc, ch 5, 7 dc), tr in 2nd sc, rpt from * around

Rnd 4) ch 7, *in ch5 sp (7 dc, ch 5, 7 dc), ch 3, tr in tr, ch 3, rpt from * around, slst in 4th ch of beg ch7

Rnd 5) ch 7, *in ch5 sp (7 dc, ch 5, 7 dc), ch 3, in tr (tr, ch 3, tr), ch 3, rpt from * around, ending ch 3, tr in same tr as beg ch7, ch 3, slst in 4th ch of beg ch7

Rnd 6) ch 7, *in ch5 sp (7 dc, ch 5, 7 dc), ch 3, tr in tr, ch 3, 2 trtog in same tr and nxt tr, ch 3, tr in same tr, ch 3, rpt from * around, ending omit last tr, slst in 4th ch of beg ch7

Rnd 7) ch 7, *in ch5 sp (7 dc, ch 5, 7 dc), ch 3, tr in nxt tr, ch 3, 2 trtog in same tr and nxt tr, ch 6, 2 trtog in same tr and nxt tr, ch 3, tr in same tr, ch 3, rpt from * around, ending omit last tr, slst in 4th ch of beg ch7

Rnd 8) ch 1, sc in same st, ch 7, *in ch5 sp (7 dc, ch 5, 7 dc), ch 7, sc in tr, 17 tr in ch6 sp, sk tr, sc in nxt tr, ch 7, rpt from * around

Rnd 9) slst over 3 ch, sc in 4th, *ch 5, in ch5 sp (7 dc, ch 9, 7 tr 7 dc), ch 5, sc in 4th ch of ch7, ch 2, sk 3 tr, sc in tr, ch 4, sk 3 tr, in nxt tr (sc, ch 3, sc), sk tr, in nxt tr (sc, ch 3, sc), ch 4, sk 3 tr, sc in nxt tr, ch 2, sc in 4th ch of ch7, rpt from * around, to end: replace last ch 2 w hdc in beg sc

Rnd 10) *13 dc in ch5 sp, sc in 4th dc, 25 dc in ch9 sp, sc in 4th dc, 13 dc in ch5 sp, sc in ch2 sp, 3 sc in ch4 sp, ch 12, 3 sc in ch4 sp, sc in ch2 sp, rpt from * around, ending sc over beg hdc

Rnd 11) slst over 7 st, ch 3, 6 dc, *sc in 3rd dc of 25, (ch 10, sk 3 dc, sc in 3 dc, ch4-picot (see notes), sc in 2 dc) twice, ch 10, sk 3 dc, sc in nxt dc, dc in nxt 7 dc of 13, ch 8, sc in ch12 sp, ch 8, sk 6 dc, dc in nxt 7 dc, rpt from * around

Rnd 12) ch 1, sc in same st, *ch 3, in ch10 lp (8 dc, ch4-picot, 7 dc), ch 3, (sc, ch 4, sc) in picot, rpt from * once more, ch 3, in ch10 lp (8 dc, ch4-picot, 7 dc), ch 3, sc in 7th dc, 5 sc in ch8 sp, ch 12, 5 sc in ch8 sp, sc in 1st dc, rpt from * around. FO

Copyright © 2010, Judy M Kerr. All Rights Reserved.

The pattern has only been tested by me and it's so easy to gloss over mistakes and "see" what you expect to see, so if you try it and you run into any problems please let me know - sofar_sogood at btinternet dot com.

And if anyone does recognise the pattern, again please let me know so that I can make the appropriate acknowledgements. Thank you.

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Monday, 8 March 2010

Granny On Point Square

I "designed" this square especially for Planet Blanket*. I say quote designed endquote because I can't believe no one has come up with this idea before, but I haven't been able to find a pattern like it.

Granny On Point – 12”
(American notation)

Double Knit / Light Worsted Weight yarn

G-4mm hook

Notes: Granny shell = 3 dc in same sp









Step 1 - Start with a 7-round granny square (should be about 7½"). Basic instructions can be found here.

Step 2, Row 1 - With RS facing, join “corner's” colour in any corner, *ch 3, (“granny shell” in next ch1 sp, ch 1) x 6, ch 2 more, slst in corner, rep from * x 3 replacing final (ch 1 + ch 2) w dc, ch 3, turn.

Row 2 - (“Granny shell” in next ch1 sp, ch 1) x 5 omitting final ch 1, dc in ch3 of prev row, ch 3, turn.

Row 3 - (“Granny shell” in next ch1 sp, ch 1) x 4 omitting final ch 1, dc in ch3 of prev row, ch 3, turn.

Row 4 - (“Granny shell” in next ch1 sp, ch 1) x 3 omitting final ch 1, dc in ch3 of prev row, ch 3, turn.

Row 5 - (“Granny shell” in next ch1 sp, ch 1) x 2 omitting final ch 1, dc in ch3 of prev row, ch 3, turn.

Row 6 - “Granny shell” in next ch1 sp, dc in ch3 of prev row, ch 3, turn.

Row 7 - Dc in ch3 of prev row. FO.

For remaining corners, turn (WS), join yarn in top of ch3 of prev row, continue from Row 2.

Step 3, Round 1 – With RS facing, join yarn in any corner dc, *3 sc in dc, 2 sc in corner sp, 3 sc in ea sp across, 2 sc in corner sp, rep from * around, join w slst to beg sc.

Round 2 – Slst to 2nd of beg 3sc (= corner sc), *3 sc in corner sc, sc in ea sc across, rep from * around, join w slst to beg sc.

Variations:
By changing the number of rounds in your starting granny and adjusting the number of rows in step 2 accordingly you can make different sized squares.

For a 10" square try starting with a 6-round granny (approximately 6½") - as below.














Using worsted weight and an H-5mm hook, a 3-round granny (4") with 1 round of sc will yield a 6" square; 7" with 3 rounds of sc.


Want to tackle it more scientifically? Just remember your old a²+b²=c² (there's a handy calculator here).

Example: for finished size 8", the legs of your corner triangle (a and b of the calculation) will be 4" and the base (side c or the hypotenuse) will be roughly 5⅔". That means your starting granny square needs to be 5⅔", or rather 5-5½" so you have "room" for at least one round of sc.

I crochet quite loosely so your mileage may vary even with the basic pattern. Just work an extra round or two of sc or add an extra round to your starting granny to get it up to size. Remember, despite the math, crochet is an art not a science. :-)

Need help? Spotted a goof? Please email me.

*If you are taking part in the Planet Blanket project please note that the required square size is multiples of 5", i.e. 5", 10", 15", etc. Please use the 10" variation or scale it up!

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Tuesday, 23 February 2010

If you've known the love of a dog

And you're not afraid of the g-d word, then this is probably one of the most beautiful videos you're ever likely to see.

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Monday, 1 February 2010

WTF???

Is it just me or does the knowledge that a manufacturer of combat gunsights puts biblical references on its products
"As part of our faith and our belief in service to our country"
give you the heeby-jeebies too?

Excuse me? Call yourself a Christian? Then get outta that kind of business.

Who would Jesus kill?

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Sunday, 24 January 2010

Corner Stripe Square

22 Aug 12 - Corrections to border

I've been making a few squares for Hugs for Haiti, a group on Ravelry. I'd made a couple of "bright" ones and a couple of "cute" ones and decided I needed a distinctly "boy" one. So I came up with this:

Corner Stripe Square
(American Notation)
WW and an H/5mm hook = approximately 6”
Colours A, B, and C

Notes: dc in flo = double crochet in the front loop only (used in the first row of each colour change to emphasise the edge)
FO = finish off.


Row 1 (RS) – With A: ch 4, in 4th ch from hook work (dc, ch 2, 2 dc). Remaining 3-ch at beginning counts as a dc.

Row 2 – ch 3, turn (counts as a dc throughout), dc in nxt dc, (2 dc , ch 2, 2 dc) in ch-2 sp, dc in nxt2 dc.

Row 3 – ch 3, turn, dc in nxt 3 dc, (2 dc , ch 2, 2 dc) in ch-2 sp, dc in nxt 4 dc. FO. Turn.

Row 4 – With B: ch 3, dc in flo of nxt 5 dc, (2 dc , ch 2, 2 dc) in ch-2 sp, dc in flo of nxt 6 dc.

Row 5 – ch 3, turn, dc in nxt 7 dc, (2 dc , ch 2, 2 dc) in ch-2 sp, dc in nxt 8 dc. FO. Turn.

Row 6 – With C: ch 3, dc in flo of nxt 9 dc, (2 dc , ch 2, 2 dc) in ch-2 sp, dc in flo of nxt 10 dc.

Row 7 – ch 3, turn, dc in nxt 11 dc, (2 dc , ch 2, 2 dc) in ch-2 sp, dc in nxt 12 dc. FO. Turn.

Row 8 – With A: ch 3, dc in flo of nxt 13 dc, (2 dc , ch 2, 2 dc) in ch-2 sp, dc in flo of nxt 14 dc. FO. Turn.

Border – With any colour (I chose B): work 3 sc in 1st dc of Row 8, sc in nxt 15 dc, 3 dc sc in ch-2 sp, sc in nxt 15 dc, 3 dc sc in last dc, sc in side of last dc, (2 sc in side of dc) x 7, 3 sc in beg ch-1, (2 sc in side of dc) x 7, sc in side of 1st dc of Row 8, slst to 1st sc. FO.

Copyright © 2010, Judy M Kerr. All Rights Reserved.
As ever, if you have any problems with this pattern or spot any goofs, please let me know at sofar_sogood at btinternet dot com.

Happy hooking!

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Saturday, 9 January 2010

Roi Kwabena, 1956-2008

We still miss your Light.

Roi Ankhkara Kwabena
23 July 1956 - 9 January 2008

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Friday, 1 January 2010

New Year Ripple Finished!

Happy New Year everyone!

Well, I did it. I finally finished my New Year Ripple Afghan. Three years to the day.

Actually, that was deliberate. I could have finished it a few days ago but I decided to leave the final round of the border until today. :-)

It's going to live on the back of my chair, to be snuggled under on cold days. I think Mum would have been pleased.

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Monday, 7 December 2009

Little Granny Christmas Stocking

I made this one with WW and an H hook and it's 5" from toe to top.

ch 5, join w slst to form ring.

Rnd 1 - ch 3, 2 dc in ring, ch 2, (3 dc in ring, ch 2) x 4, join w slst to top of beg ch-3.

Rnd 2 - slst to ch-2 sp, slst in ch-2 sp, ch 3, (2 dc, ch 2, 3 dc) in same sp, ch 1, [(3 dc, ch 2, 3 dc) in nxt ch-2 sp, ch 1] x 4, join w slst to top of beg ch-3.

Rnd 3 - slst to ch-2 sp, slst in ch-2 sp, ch 3, 4 dc in same sp, ch 1, 3 dc in ch-1 sp, ch 1, [(3 dc, ch 2, 3 dc) in ch-2 sp, ch 1, 3 dc in ch-1 sp, ch 1] x 4, join w slst to top of beg ch-3. Do not FO.

Rnd 4 - slst to 3rd st of "ch 3, 4 dc" shell of prev rnd (= toe), fold work in half, ch 1 , turn, sc in same st, sc halves together thru matching dc or ch-1 sp, 2 sc in "heel" corner, cont up side, 1 sc thru both top ch-2 sp, 1 sc in front ch-2 sp only, sc in ea st/sp around top of stocking to ch-2 sp, for hanging loop: ch 10, slst in base of ch-10. FO.

Copyright © 2009, Judy M Kerr. All Rights Reserved.

Problem (yours or mine)? - email me.

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Saturday, 5 December 2009

Merry Christmoose!

I have decreed that, this year and henceforth, the Christmas Season officially "kicks off" on the evening of 5 December (St Nicholas Day Eve). My mother was German and we always celebrated Nikolaustag when my brother and I were little. So - I may write some cards and wrap some pressies prior to the 5th but no decorations come out and no fruitcake gets eaten!

This morning I was in town posting some cards and looking for stick-on bows (why does everyone sell the nasty metallic ones and not the nice satin-type anymore?) when I popped into one of the charity shops. They had all their Christmas-y stuff together in a big display, but I went to the back looking for yarn (as I always do). There, stuffed in with all the other soft toys, was a little moose. He had a plain brown gingham bow around his neck but I knew immediately he was in the wrong place. He was a Christmoose!

I coughed up the £1.30 ($2.14), hurried home with my prize, ditched the gingham and dug out a proper Christmas bow. I can't tell you how silly-excited I get every time I catch a glimpse of him.

It's Chriiiiiiiist-maaaaaaaaas!!*

*Just in case there's anyone left out there who doesn't know: Noddy Holder at the end of Slade's "Merry Christmas Everybody"

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Wednesday, 25 November 2009

Garland

All men's miseries derive from not being able to sit quietly in a room alone.
-- Blaise Pascal

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Wednesday, 11 November 2009

"Letter to a dead husband: 11 November 1933"

White Poppies for Peace
Blessed are the peacemakers
Dear Arthur
Just wanted to let you know
that I’ve joined the Co-op women’s guild,
that we’re making white poppies for peace...
It started when Miss Millar
made her own, from white paper
and ribbons - we copied her.
She says we’re carrying
‘cargoes of grief on our cardigans
in memory of husbands, sons, sweethearts...’
We still respect the red,
honour the dead - but have
made our pledge, no more war!
It's a bit radical though;
last week my friend Ivy Brown
lost her job ’cos she wore one.
You remember years ago
in church when we had our banns called
when the vicar read from Isaiah
nation shall not lift up
sword against nation
neither shall they make war anymore
well that's what this is about see.
Us women believe in peace,
that war shouldn't happen anymore;
This Armistice Day I wear it for you Arthur
even though it's fifteen years
since you've been gone.
I wear it for all the rainbows
you will never see, our beautiful daughter
you will never kiss
- the sons we never had.
Your loving wife
Mary.

-- Denise Bennett

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Tuesday, 3 November 2009

Garland

It is wisdom to know others; it is enlightenment to know one's self.
-- Lao Tzu

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Wednesday, 26 August 2009

Another long overdue FGX update

Here are some more Crochet Partners Friendship Granny Exchange squares I've received:
Top row: Basic Granny, Pumpkin Square, Basic Granny
Middle row: Solid Granny, unknown, unknown
Bottom row: Angel (Beata Ball), Little Boxes, "Debbie" (so named because I received it from Debbie W, liked it but didn't recognise the pattern and so set about working it out. If you recognise it please let me know where it can be found. Otherwise, I'll post my pattern for it sometime in the not too distant future.)

And the squares I've sent:
Top row: Scrappy Woven Marvel (Definitely Different Afghans by Diana Lynn Sippel, LA #1288), Camellia, Tibetan Prayer Flags (my own design)
Middle row: Willow (200 Crochet Blocks for blankets, throws and afghans by Jan Eaton), Postage Stamp (Artsy Afghans by Kathleen D Garen, LA #4592), Postage Stamp variation
Bottom row: Star Stitch, Puffs & Posts (sadly, this lovely pattern is no longer available online as the pattern has been sold), my design (doesn't even have a name )

I received my 42nd square back in April and started a 6x7 square afghan (with a wide border) in July (it had to wait until I'd finished another afghan!).
I'm using Priscilla Hewitt's Flat Braid join to join the squares and I really like how it's looking so far.

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Friday, 14 August 2009

I Love the NHS

Greetings, American readers.

Things are going a little crazy in your neck of the woods. Just wanted to drop my 2¢ in here.

I lived in the United States for 11 years. Some of my family still does. I had really good medical cover through the company I worked for and, thankfully, never needed any major medical treatment. If either of those hadn't been the case, I might well not be "talking" to you now.

Our National Health Service (NHS) isn't perfect - no system ever is - but it's wonderful. If I come down with Swine Flu or get hit by a bus or need an operation I don't even have consider how much the treatment is going to cost me and whether I can afford it. I can concentrate on getting better.

My family has needed the services of the NHS on many occasions over the years, sometimes for very serious complaints, and I am thankful and grateful for the excellent care we have received.

And if you're not sure what I'm talking about, may I recommend Michael Moore's "Sicko"?

Stay healthy! xx

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Friday, 26 June 2009

Know Thyself

Wandering the internet as I do, I regularly stumble across other peoples' avatars. I've always thought how nice it must be for them to have a little graphic Mini-Me that inhabits their cyber-world. I have coveted those avatars and have spent a fair bit of time working away on various avatar-creator websites in search of an image to call my own.

I have not been successful.

No matter how hard I tried, no matter how many noses and hairstyles I sampled, nothing I created bore the slightest resemblance to Me. Perhaps all those other avatars don't live up to their owners' expectations either. Perhaps they deliberately designed an "alter-ego" - a completely different and separate internet persona. Perhaps they just picked the best of a bad lot.

No, I have not been successful. Until now.

Yes, I have at last found perfection. The cartoon creation that captures my essence, my soul. The pixel portrait that would enable any of my readers to instantly recognise me should they ever pass me in the street.

And where did I discover the real me, you ask?

South Park.
I should have known.

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